Everyday Mindfulness

Choose one practice. Try it for a week. Notice what happens.

Red lights

Reframe red lights as a welcome invitation to pause—take three deep breaths and check in with yourself. Remove distractions (stow your phone). Take your hands off the wheel, relax your shoulders, and breathe.

Connect in ordinary ways

Pay attention to your "hellos," "goodbyes," and "thank yous." Instead of rushing, pause for three breaths. Look people in the eyes. Create ordinary yet meaningful connections.

Reframe the question

Consider the difference between "Can I ...?" and "How can I ...?" The first carries doubt. The second opens you to possibility. If you notice yourself asking "Can I do this project?" try to re-frame with "How can I do this project?" This shift in mind-state empowers you and allows for creativity.

Additional practice: Shift “why” questions to “how” questions. Why keeps you spinning. How helps you move forward.

Get perspective

If you feel sluggish, scattered, or stuck, change your position. If you’re seated, stand up. If you’re standing, sit down. Take a short walk. Look out a window or, even better, get outside. Make a conscious choice to change your perspective. New ideas often arise in the shower, walking to the bathroom, or during an afternoon workout. Change your position, take a few deep breaths, and see anew.

Elongate the exhalation

When your exhale is longer than your inhale, you activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which is the rest-relax system. Try this: Breathe in through your nose for a count of 4 and breathe out through your mouth for a count of 8. On your exhale, pretend you’re blowing through a straw. Breathe in for 4, breathe out for 8. (Additional practice: When you hum or sing, you elongate the exhale. Hum at red lights!)

Compassion phrases

Practice caring for others yet letting go of control. This creates sustainable compassion. Take a pause and read these phrases:

I care about your struggles yet cannot take them away from you.
I wish you happiness and peace yet cannot make your choices for you.
May I remain peaceful and let go of expectations.
May I see my limits compassionately, just as I view the limitations of others.

Put down the silverware

Put down your silverware between bites of food. This invites a slower eating process. Plus, it’s a practice in letting go. Sometimes we grip life tightly (including our silverware). It’s a relief to let go. Put down your silverware for the first three bites of each meal. Notice the colors, textures, and flavors in your food.

Sphere of influence

Notice when you try to control the uncontrollable. Or when you feel you’re not doing enough. Pause and ask yourself: What is in my sphere of influence? How can I make a unique contribution? Focus your energy on these places. You make a difference in your square footage of the world! That is more than enough.

5-finger breathing

Touch your index finger to the outside of the pinky finger on your opposite hand. As you breathe in, trace up the pinky. As you breathe out, trace down. With your breath, continue to trace all the fingers of the hand. When you get to the thumb, go back the other way. This practice engages multiple senses, and it gives your brain just enough to focus on. Use the exercise whenever you need a pause during the day.

Practice self-compassion

Self-compassion has three components: 1) Notice when you’re in pain; 2) Understand this is the human experience, it’s not personal (nothing is “wrong”)—you’re connected to all humans; 3) Place your hand on your heart and gently ask, “How can I be kind to myself in this moment?”

Self-compassion phrases:

May I be kind to myself when life is difficult.
May I accept myself just as I am in this moment.
May I remember my strength and practice patience.
May I forgive myself and begin again.
May I give myself the compassion I so freely offer to others.

Look at the sky

Whenever you're outside, pause to look at the sky. Three breaths with the vastness of the day or night sky. This practice provides perspective—sun, clouds, stars—and it cultivates wonder. Looking at the sky turns down the “me” volume and reminds you of the larger community in which you stand.

Schedule open spaces

Create space in your daily schedule. Place a 1, 5, or 10-minute break between meetings, appointments, or tasks—use this time not to get things done or check your phone, but to pause and reflect. (Note: You can take a pause with other people. Invite them—and yourself—to sit quietly for 1 minute of relaxed breathing.)

Acts of kindness

Life can be difficult, and work can be challenging. Our brains have a negativity bias that we must consciously tilt back. If you feel frustrated, disappointed, or just need a break, look for the good in people. Compliment a coworker. Give a genuine thank you. Listen deeply to a friend. Do a small act of kindness. (Sometimes, the person who most needs your kindness is yourself.)

Time confetti

We spend significant time waiting. Waiting for kids to get ready. Waiting at the doctor’s office. Waiting for an app to load. Just like red lights, we resist the waiting (it’s getting in our way!). Yet if we reframe, we notice: this is my time to practice mindfulness. It’s “time confetti” in that we celebrate quiet moments we’ve been given. Often, we think, “I don't have any time to practice mindfulness.” Time confetti is your chance. (This happens, too, when time opens up—e.g., a meeting is cancelled. Instead of filling that space, leave it open. Different from "time confetti" as shredded time; it's an embrace of a cancellation.)

Email practice

After you compose an email message, take a 3-breath pause. Reread the message from the receiver’s point of view. How will they receive your words? Make changes that better reflect your intention. (You can do this with texts and other messages, too.)

One hard thing, one good thing

Honor the difficult parts of life and notice the positive experiences—small, ordinary moments of ease, satisfaction, laughter, beauty, kindness, or connection. Each day, reflect on something difficult—honor it—and embrace something good: stay with the positive feeling for three breaths. (Include your kids in this practice: everyone in the family shares one hard thing and one good thing. It’s a way to embrace all of life.)